Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Question

The question has been posed: which came first? The depression or the drinking? Posed that way, the answer is definitely the depression. That came on line when I was four or five; I didn’t start drinking for at least ten years after that. When I was in my thirties, I hardly drank at all. There was generally nothing in the house. My children were young and I was busy with all that. I remained clinically depressed, but not so much that I couldn’t finish college and go to law school.

Posed as: do I drink because I am depressed or am I depressed because I drink? Neither is true. There was a period of several years some time ago when I did drink to excess, and that did exacerbate my depression. Excess drinking interferes with normal rest and nutrition, which screws up body chemistry. I didn’t like it, and I stopped. The excess part, that is.

Now I have a few in the evening, but I taper off before retiring early to a good, restful sleep. Why drink at all? Why not? Who am I to refuse a gift from god?

My checkups and blood work, by the way, are all good up to and including this Spring. My pressure is not high.

So remember, if I speak here of alcohol, I’m not drunk, I’m just drinking. And about the depression, I have so much experience with it by now that, to coin a phrase, I don’t let it get me down.


Anonymous said...

Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.

Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
Happy trails to you,
Keep smilin' until then.

Who cares about the clouds when we'ere together?
Just sing a song, and bring the sunny weather.

Happy trails to you,
Til we meet again.

-Dale Evans

Anonymous said...

Yep, it's how you ride the trail, Fred. That about sums it all up.


Anonymous said...

And I'm sure you can quit (drinking) any time you want, right?

fred c said...

I mixed my drinks so light last evening that by nine 0'clock I though that I HAD given up drinking. I went to bed at nine-thirty and I tosed and turned considerably, never considering getting up for another, more manly drink.

Anonymous said...

Don't use drinks like Sominex. Alcohol disrupts the sleep cycle. While initially it will knock you out, you won't go into deep, REM sleep. The brain waves will not be slow enough. Ask any doctor.

fred c said...

Oh, that deep sleep is very important to me, that's why I taper off. I closely monitor myself; I know that I dream lavishly within a very short time after falling asleep, and I generally fall asleep quickly and naturally.

I hated the experience of drinking to excess and gave it up over ten years ago. I hated collapsing into unconsciousness and then waking up four hours later suddenly sober. That hasn't happened since.