Asia, My Asia: In Case You Were Curious

So that idle speculation can be reformed with concrete information, I write to share with you the exciting details of my life in the Kingdom of Thailand. It's really quite a thrill to be me.

My Asia

Ate poisonous fish
just to get a buzz
comforted Chinese acrobats
seen it in the mirror, too
looks like it was Photoshopped
peace-piping with warlords
got Hill Tribe women
searching the forest for the good shit
finding it, too
it’s hot; sweat keeps me cool
Lord Jim without the boat wreck
that’s me, Asia, my Asia
got my bullet-proof amulet
and my sacred tattoos
from a thousand year old
monk wearing animal skins
seen my death too
it’s a trip, you’ll read about it
no karate, no Muy-Thai
got my pistol, motherfucker
little Brown nine, wooden grips
eyes in the back of my head
amulet for that too
don’t get no traffic tickets
everybody knows my car
cops shallow-grave my enemies
for a smile; I offer to pay them
they just want to be my friends
ain’t no Marlboros
in my Marlboro box
I’m cooking, baby
you couldn’t eat it
way too hot for the likes of you
Karaoke girls
don’t want my money
they just want to ride the big one
and hear me sing “My Way,”
wrap it up, baby!
clouds spell out my name
tropic lightning punctuation
rainbows you could only dream of
farmers make me glassy moonshine
birds sing out my destiny
vermin click and scratch my welcome
bulloxen wink knowingly
at water buffaloes, they get it
frogs and bugs sing me to sleep
in the peaceful countryside
roosters wake me gently
and tell me the time all night long
gunshots rock me to sleep in the city
and the Muslim song is my alarm
I am the foreigner here of choice
the one and only sainted White-man
the very earth here loves me
it hums
go ‘head on, Jimbonie
show ‘em how it’s done
dig you later

September 19, 2008, only half drunk, with re-writes substantially sober