Sunday, April 17, 2016

A Profound Technological Achievement

Today, with no help at all from friends or family, and after only one session last week of almost two hours of trying and failing, followed by another hour and a half on my bank’s website doing some housecleaning and adding a “travel notice,”* I have successfully purchased a legitimate copy of the software for Microsoft Word 2016 for $79.00, only about seventy-dollars more than its worth. Less than a hundred all together! That’s pretty good!

I could have gotten a bootleg copy for about six dollars, but I’m getting nervous about that solution. Someday, the machine will contact Microsoft for an update or something, and they’ll realize that I am a seriously criminally minded individual who has violated not only their property rights, but also several Federal laws. I have money in American banks that is available to pay criminal fines or civil judgments, so I’ve decided to be more careful.

Like most Microsoft products, Word 2016 appears to be less useful than the versions that preceded it. If I could have bought another copy of Word 97, I would have been as happy as a little girl! But no, we must progress, and soon I will be required to figure out how to back-up my stuff into the Cloud or some shit.

I can’t wait! It’ll be such fun! (Attitude is everything, and self-hypnosis to convince yourself that it’s all fun is highly recommended.)

*The travel notice was one of the keys. No one seems to be capable of understanding that I actually LIVE in Thailand. When I’m in the States I’m traveling, visiting. Then I come home. To Thailand. Get over it, people! Is it that hard to understand? At the rate things are going, lots more Americans will not be able to afford to live in America. We’ll have addresses all over the place. I dearly hope that they eventually figure out how to deal with overseas Americans. 

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