Hard to Believe

Kind of hard to believe that people don’t just start laughing when John McCain walks into a room. He’s as old as the hills; he says the stupidest things; he’s vicious; he’s got those old fashioned “two-family” values; he’s got Bush’s dick in his mouth; his service record is dodgy; he is a very poor speaker; he changes his tune in the middle of the song; and if he calls me his friend again I may slit his throat myself.

Kind of hard to believe that anyone would even talk about Hillary being the Vice-Presidential nominee. I love the woman, but please, let’s retain at least a tenuous grasp on reality. We’ll be lucky to convince people to vote for a Black man in the first place, we need a nice, reassuring, mature White man on the ticket. Look, I don’t make the rules, this shit is cut in stone, go to the mountain and look it up.

Kind of hard to believe that no one has shot Joe Lieberman yet, there are so many reasons to consider it. He is so infuriating. Poor Stan Winston, he died yesterday, we’ll miss him, it would take his genius to create a more hateful monster than Joe Lieberman. I can’t be the only one who wonders why he goes on living. Cheney too, the man is a walking, talking affront to god. And . . . well, I guess there are too many to name.

Kind of hard to believe that anyone watches network news or cable news, anyone at all, even fundamentalists, or the low-functioning, or the disadvantaged, or whatever the fuck it is that we’re calling the idiots these days, it’s so useless, there’s no news presented at all, and it’s all so annoying, so really fucking annoying, and stupid, not just catering to stupidity but severely guilty of it. I like the internet, because you are in control and can read what you want and ignore the rest, and are not chained to anyone else’s time-line. And if you want to watch John Stewart make fun of somebody, you can do that too.

Kind of hard to believe that anyone bought a big, honkin’ SUV or a huge pick-up truck in the last five years, even the last ten years. Wow, that’s a colossal lack of foresight right there. Please overlook my mediocre mileage hot-rod (purchased twelve years ago).

Kind of hard to believe that all those banking-criminals who loaned money to tens-of-thousands of dipshits with no hope of repaying could find other bankers, even bigger dipshits, who would buy all the loans together and call it an ingenious new idea, “derivatives.” All of those genius-criminals get multi-million dollar bonuses every year; your tax dollars pays for it, and their stupid ideas, and Joe Blow goes and lives in his sister’s garage.

Kind of hard to believe, in general, that the idiots, and the water-heads, and the retards, and the cretins, and the lazy minded trust fund babies, and the pin-heads, and the maniacs, and the just plain old three-sheets-to-the-wind crazy people are still allowed to run the asylum.