Wednesday, April 3, 2019

George and Kellyanne Conway's Modern Family

George, Kellyanne, and I fall into very different segments of the political spectrum, but as regular readers will recall, I have never let that interfere with my respect for the way that Kellyanne does her job. I have often said that among the ridiculous clown-car of ignoramuses that surround the president, she is the shining star. Now that I look at that sentence, it screams of damning with feint praise, so let me be more clear: Kellyanne Conway has an impossible job to do, and yet she consistently does it spectacularly well and manages to make it look easy. How would you like to try a week or two of being responsible for making President Comboverus Superbus's idiotic comments sound presidential and covering up his blatant, obvious lies? I didn't think so. The woman is a super-hero. Or villain, I suppose.

I am less familiar with the work-product of her husband George, although I am enjoying the attention that he is drawing to the president's foolishness.

Most importantly, before I get to the frivolous portion of today's entertainment, let me say that I have only love in my heart for the Conway family. George and Kellyanne have been married for twenty years or so, and they have four children. I sincerely wish all six of them the best of luck, good health, and happiness, in perpetuity. I find the now frequent speculation about the conflict that has supposedly arisen between them concerning Kellyanne's boss to be not only disagreeable, but also stupid and churlish.

In a perfect world, I would love to read the following press release from Ms. Conway:

Let me just say that any rumors about tension between my husband and me about our respective opinions about President Trump lack foundation of any kind and are, in fact, silly. Politics is politics; work is work; and family is family. Neither George nor I have any trouble keeping those things separate in our heads.

For example, this past weekend, we sent the children to visit George's family in (?), and we spent thirty-six hours alone together in our apartment in Washington, having told people that we were at our home in New Jersey. We turned off our phones, only checking in occasionally to make sure that World War III had not broken out in the meantime. We let our computers get a well deserved rest. We spent all of that time having sex in every way that the human body allows, in all three ways, twice, with a couple of bonus rounds, taking occasional breaks for snacks and short naps.

The children returned home on Sunday afternoon, and we all had a great time catching up. Dinner was a pizza party, and we then watched movies together. The boys wanted to watch Star Wars movies, so we settled on Rogue One and the Last Jedi, because they have strong female leads, which the girls really enjoy.

Just for the record, for all of you busy-bodies out there, our family is fine. George is entitled to his opinions, and I would never interfere with his rights in that area. I am making a good living, and having a great time, by the way, and George is only happy for me. The children are doing great. George and I get plenty of drama at work, believe me. When we get home, we just chill-ax and decompress. So fucking get over it, already. You should turn your attention to the Huckabee-Sanders. I hear that they are at each other's necks constantly.”

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