Thursday, September 21, 2017
The Visions - Cigarette
I quit almost a year ago, and for a while there were many days when I felt just like this. In the morning, anyway. I only enjoyed the morning cigarettes; after eleven or so I might smoke one or two more, or maybe not. I wasn't dedicated to it, not like some people.
I did, however, love cigarettes. Do love them, I suppose. I've always loved them. I remember my early experiences with cigarettes, and they were all good. It could be said that I have quit smoking about twenty-five times, but I was never quitting, not really. I was taking a break. Taking the overview of my life, I've only smoked cigarettes about twenty-five percent of the time, so there's been more off than on. I have enjoyed every cigarette than I have ever smoked, and I have no regrets. I'm pretty sure that I will never have any regrets about it, no matter if some terrible fate awaits me that has a cigarette related component to it. We must live with our decisions. At least I enjoyed it while it lasted.
I'm not planning to start back up any time soon, but if a time comes when I am unambiguously expected to die within a matter of months, I'll almost certainly go back to it.
Cigarettes giveth, and cigarettes taketh, but what they giveth, I will taketh, any reasonable chance that I get.