Another Fine Lesson In A Sentence Or Two

 

Forgive me for being coy about my opinion of the sentence in the post several down from this one. Perhaps I was being too cautious. One still retains the freedom to criticize art of all kinds. Just the other day, a close friend of mine expressed the opinion that Charlie Kaufman should never be allowed to make another movie. He felt this way after having viewed “I'm Thinking of Ending Things” (Netflix, 2020). He said a few things that were much stronger than that, in fact.

I told him honestly that I had loved the movie, and that I had effortlessly followed its narrative premise from the beginning. (I believe that the movie is easier to follow for people who are deeply depressed.) I told my friend that he was entitled to his opinion, but to remember that critical opinion is often way off the mark. “Critics also hated Van Gogh's work,” I said. At that, my friend blew up! “I hate Van Gogh too!” That cleared it all up for me. Such matters are personal; they are not to be interpreted as offensive; we are free to hold and express our own artistic opinions.

I feel empowered, therefore, to go ahead and declare my true feelings about the sentence that began, “Rheinhardt shuddered awake...” That is one of the worst sentences that I have ever read.

What a relief to get that off my chest! Now I believe that I owe you an example of a great sentence:

“As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment.”

Followed by, “And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment.”

That's two great sentences.

Writing like this, I will admit, exceeds the bounds of mere utility and brushes up against the edges of style. It is taken from “Of Mice and Men” (1937), by John Steinbeck. Style in fiction writing is like makeup on an already attractive woman. A little bit may add to the general effect, but too much, as in the Reinhardt sentence, is a must to avoid.

The “moment” referred to by Steinbeck encompassed a particularly shocking act. We all know from experience that moments of intense emotion do affect the passage of time, as though they required the prolongation of time to better enhance our formation of memories.

Steinbeck's description of such moments is sheer poetry.