Saturday, November 29, 2008

Uncle Mustache, Redux

“Oh! You are killing my people! You are killing my people!”

This is the mantra of the killer-elite-anarchists of the Twenty-First Century. This was their excuse for killing some poor, stupid drunken surfers in Bali; their excuse for blowing up timid bird sellers in Bagdad; their rationale for spilling the guts of little girls who have the nerve to go to school in the ‘Stan; now an excuse for killing unknown whatevers in Bombay, India. Big men, tough guys, “you are killing my people!” Self-aggrandizing numbskulls, delusional would-be martyrs, smarter than you and me, know-it-all wonder-men of some stupid cause or other.

If they tried this in the Uncle Mustache universe, the J. Steel terror machine would establish their identities and demand a horrific vengeance. With just a finger left from self immolation, he would know who they were, and he would find their families and kill them all, the bomber’s brothers and sisters, his children, nieces and nephews, his aunts, uncles and cousins, and, most especially, and slowly, with pictures, his wife, mother and father. And let them try to get someone to do it again, knowing what would happen to a score or two of those left alive. Uncle Joe wrote the book on “everybody in your house ‘gonna get killed.” Just ask the Columbians, that shit works, big time.

But me? I’m a man of peace. For me, maybe somebody in the middle ground of revenge logic, like maybe Lyndon Johnson.


Anonymous said...

I knew Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe was a relative of mine. You're no Uncle Joe, but you may be a relative of mine. How scary is that?


Anonymous said...

I'm soothed with the thought that this kind of shit couldn't happen here... and the fantasy that if it did, people would go home and arm themselves and come back to wreak terror upon these so-called extremists. You want to see extremists motherfuckers, come talk to the new bloods in LA that wear 'crimson' not 'red' crimson' and if you get it wrong they will send you to your maker while laughing that as your blood coagulated it was so fucking 'crimson'. Wrong fucking turn terrorists, that's what we need. No surprises no repeat 911's because that was such a fucking surprise to so many 'HNIC's'. Motherfuckers in charge when that kind of shit happens need to just automatically be NOT IN CHARGE all of the god damn sudden. 'Sorry, the horse you rode in on is dead, you can't expect to ride any longer, fuck you, you're done'. This logic suits me fine, as per the living proof of it's value. 'I'm too stupid to know people have it out for me'. 'I'm enraged that the people that had it out for me actually got a shot off and did damage to my people!', 'I'm fighting mad!'. There's a psychological term for it... bystander ignorance or something similar... bystanders... should be shot maybe is how that sentence ends... should be more aware, vocal, concerned, etc...


Anonymous said...

Shit happens anywhere and everywhere and often at times when it's least expected. As far as the Bloods, go, a collection of SEAL teams and other assorted SOG groups, mainly composed of "crackers", can win most hearts and minds within days if allowed free rein and free reign. And you never know, bubbles can burst at any time.