My Thai Neighborhood

It is usually the case in America that land values and zoning regulations insure a unitary demographic for most neighborhoods. They may be mostly single occupancy, middle-income houses, or exclusively single occupancy, big-ticket houses, or mixed multiple occupancy dwellings with some focused stretches of commercial use buildings. There’s some planning going on, for better or worse. It’s not like that everywhere.

These photographs were taken out a fourth-floor window of my hospital, which is very close to the university where I teach and close at hand to the neighborhood where my condo is located. Near the bottom, you can see the old-style Thai housing built along a small drainage canal adjacent to the hospital. This, as is usually the case, is low income housing occupied by long term families of tenants or owners. Moving up the frame, to the right of center, you can see a development of attached, single family residences. These are very vertical, three stories at least, and they are probably fairly expensive. In dollars? Let’s say $200,000 (six million baht).  

The large building complex in the background is a Chinese owned development consisting of a large, expensive hotel in one building, with two equally large buildings behind it that are devoted to condos. Most of the condos are larger than usual for the area, and they are expensive. For 140 square meters, figure between $200,000 and $250,000.  

In the lower picture, you can see the continuation of the canal houses. Immediately behind these there is a sports facility with a rain cover, a common accoutrement in Thailand, which is in the tropics, after all. At photo left is a newish condo building where you could pick up a small condo (30 square meters) for $40,000 or so (one point four million baht).

In the background of the bottom picture, just right of center, is a large group of three condo buildings. These are built in a transportation dead spot; living there would be inconvenient without a car of your own. They were built by the government and are available to be purchased by Thai citizens at reduced prices. I know a woman who lives there, and she says that her condo is spacious, and the whole place is fine, but then again, she has a car.

The next large building to the right is another condo complex. This one is two large buildings containing about seven hundred condos all together. It’s very nice, with a big pool and modern exercise facilities, and a very good management company. I lived there for seven years in a small condo that I rented (30 square meters; $300 rent). You can still buy those small condos for about $45,000. Those buildings are right on the main road, so transportation is very easy. Lots of taxis right out front, and multiple bus lines with a stop on the next corner, one short block away. Pretty soon there’ll be a subway running out front. “Pretty soon,” that’s almost a joke. They have broken ground for the terminal station less than a quarter of a mile to the east, so the project has officially begun, but you learn early on that in Thailand, “soon,” and “now,” do not mean what we are accustomed to them meaning in the U.S. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll probably live to see it.

In between all of this visible housing stock, there are single and multiple family dwellings ranging from very simple and cheap to individual homes costing up to three-quarters of a million dollars. That’s DOLLARS. Plus, a wide variety of industrial properties. And everything is shoulder to shoulder at all price points. There are expensive properties that are very close to noisy industrial properties. It does not appear to me that there are any urban plans, or any building codes, or property-use regulations, to prevent the owner from doing just about any damn thing that she wants to do with her property. This is the “Land of the Free,” that is the literal meaning of Thailand (in Thai, Brataet Thai, the “Land of the Free”). Furthermore, if you own a house or a condo, there is nothing to stop you from using it for commercial purposes. By all means, locate your dentist office in your house, or run your small company out of your condo. Or sell food in the evenings from a table in front of your house, for that matter. Thailand has a degree of economic freedom that seems amazing to Americans.

I have been lucky enough to find the entire situation charming from the beginning. My attitude is always that I am here as a guest, and I did not come to Thailand to criticize their ways or to offer suggestions. Whatever Thai people decide to do with their country is fine with me.

I rather like my neighborhood the way that it is. I own a nice condo by now, and I’ll be fine living here for the long haul. 

Teaching Trip To Korat

The official name of the province is now Nakorn Rachasima, but no one seems to call it that.  Thais prefer to stick with the traditional name, which is Korat.

I got to the Moachit bus station in Bangkok with no trouble, but then everything went to hell pretty quickly.  Note to self:  from now on always go to the bathroom and buy a couple of sandwiches BEFORE buying the tickets.

The NOW problem.  Now means something different in Thailand.  In Thai or in English, the concept is viewed in a different light.  I bought the ticket and asked, in good Thai, when the bus was leaving.  The answer was, "now."  They even had a guy bring me to the bus.  I told him that I would like to use the bathroom first and he said that I had to get on the bus "now."  I sat on the bus for a half hour before we finally left.  I'm sure that it was still "now."

The ticket said "1st Class," and the bus said, "1st Class," but really it was a lousy old bus from the get-go.  Zero suspension; tired air-con; uncomfortable seats with no arm rests; exposed wiring some of the lights and speakers.

The trip to Korat should be three and a half to four hours, and the first two and a half hours were trouble free.  Then something broke, the hydraulic system or something.  Maybe the clutch?  That vocabulary is over my head.

The crazy Farang sitting behind me started mumbling immediately.  "This is not good," over and over again.  We were the only two Farang on the bus.  I'd seen him at our fueling stop, standing over to the side making weird faces and repetitive, circular hand movements, and had there and then resolved not to talk to him under any circumstances.  I didn't have to worry.  Within a few minutes of the bus stopping, he took up all of his things, put on his hat, and got off the bus in the middle of nowhere.  I didn't see him anymore.

We were there for two and a half hours before another bus stopped.  Same company, at least ten of their buses had passed us already.  This driver was also a bus mechanic, and he had some ideas.  Our own driver and the "bus assistant" had been poking around to little purpose beyond getting dirty with the oldest, rustiest set of tools in a ratty back-pack that you've ever seen.  The new guy began supervising, and within fifteen minutes or so something in the bowels of the bus gave up all of its pressure with a huge sigh.  The new guy seemed pleased and prepared to leave, buttoning up his shirt.  He had been joking with me me a little bit and talking at some length to another passenger that I had also become friendly with.  We were about the only passengers on the bus, us and two Tamils who never looked anyone in the eye, including each other, preferring to glare off into space.  My friend was a factory mechanic and he was interested in the proceedings; I found standing around outside equally uncomfortable so I switched off between outside and sitting on the hot bus. The driver exchanged words with my friend and he told us not to make a fuss but to keep quiet and come with him, he only had two free seats on his bus.  The rest of the passengers had to soldier on. 

To be fair, this was only the third time in over ten years that a bus had broken down on me in Thailand.  

So I left the house at 8:50 am and got to Korat at 5:30 pm.  I was so hungry that I ate at the bus station.  The tuk-tuk to the hotel was a bright spot.  He gave me the Thai price right away and was a very nice guy, very helpful regarding buses back to Bangkok.  I gave him a forty Baht tip and he was wildly appreciative.

I had booked and paid for the hotel room on Agoda dot com, but the hotel was not expecting me. I didn't have a print out, but I did remember the confirmation number.  That didn't really help.  I fired up my Chrome Book on the wi-fi and showed him the confirmation.  He was still lost.  He made a couple of notes and went back to the office for a while.  When he returned, he had a paper from his "manager," and said the manager told him that it was all good.  They got confused the next day too when I didn't check out.  I got back from teaching and they thought that I was going to check out late and leave.  No, I explained, I paid for two nights.  They issued a new room card and I could stay in the same room, so it could have been worse. 

The hotel was only okay.  I won't give the name, because they had so much trouble with the Agoda that I don't know if I trust them.  It was okay, though.  There was hot water, the free breakfast buffet was great, and the air-con worked.  Only Sy-Fy and the Universal Channel on the TV, plus a soccer channel in English.  The rest of the channels were in Thai.  So it was two days of House, and Law and Order, and 500 Mile Per Hour Storm.  (I only watch Sy-Fy in hotels, and of all things the last time I stayed in a hotel the same movie was playing.  500 Mile Per Hour Storm is okay, for a Sy-Fy movie, but isn't it funny how these things work out?)  One wall in the lobby was covered with pictures of military aircraft, most of which were signed by pilots and crew from many other countries.  The U.S., Singapore, Australia, Europe was in there too.  Some signed their names, some their call-signs, some both.  Thor; Minion; Bookworm.  Many said, "To Top and the rest of the staff at the ___________ Hotel."  Top sounds like a call-sign too, so maybe the owner of the hotel is a former pilot.   I guess there's a big training air base nearby. 

Later on I went to the lobby to inquire about the less-than-intuitive wi-fi in the rooms.  I rode down on the elevator with an old Asian man who probably wasn't Thai.  He was dressed like a Commodore, white military cut suit, white peaked cap, white shoes.  We smiled but only I spoke, I tried Thai and English but neither worked very well.  When we got off at the lobby he took a handful of amulets out of his pocket and gave me one.  The only thing he said the whole time was, "good luck!"

Teaching and the return trip were uneventful.  The bus coming back was much nicer, cooler and more comfortable, and I got to watch Lucy in Thai.  It's nice to travel, but it's oh, so nice to come home.

The Engrish Is Truly Frightening

I was treated to a couple of English tests during my recent proctoring gig. Always interesting.

Here’s a question:

Studying English is ________________ for students who wish to work for multinational corporations.

1. Scary

2. Worthwhile

(3. and 4. I don’t recall)

Almost certainly “worthwhile” was the preferred answer, but almost every paper, no exaggeration, answered “scary.” Which is true, I suppose, English is scary for most foreign students, wherever the student wishes to become employed someday.

Another question:

The water’s ____________________ looks beautiful when the sea is calm.

1. Surface

2. Pang

3. Compression

4. Crust

Here the common answer was “pang.” Like a sudden sharp pain or emotion?  Where would they have seen that word, and how does it apply to the surface of water? In all of the tests that I checked, “surface” and “crust” showed up one time each, and the rest were “pang.”

Honestly, I didn’t go through the tests in a systematic way. I usually just looked over the six or eight questions at the end, maybe some from the middle. To be fair, many of the questions in the brief first section were so easy that there were many correct answers. (“Joe _______ playing baseball yesterday.” Pick “was” from a list.) At the middle and the end though, I could rarely find even two correct answers out of the six or eight that I checked.

It’s a shame too, since English is Money these days. Speak it and you get more money, it’s easier to get a good job. No one who has taught English thinks it’s easy, let’s face it, English is hard. Check your own spelling and tell me I’m lying. It’s important though.

Luckily, my mom taught me to speak English, many years ago.