The 2017 World Series In A Nutshell

I missed the entire World Series this year. No more cable TV for me. That thing is too expensive, and most of the bill every month goes to ESPN, or Fox Sports, as it is called in Asia. I liked the baseball a lot, and I enjoyed the basketball playoffs, and even the big tennis events, but being a little careful with money is always a good idea.

This highlight reel is interesting for many reasons, like:

1)   Did they juice the ball this year? Or was it just for the series? That pill was jumping off of those bats big time. A couple of those homers were hit with inside-out swings and contact at strange angles, but they still flew over the fence with authority. Someone should check that.

2)   Nice to see so many religious Muslims in the big leagues. Or are they Jews? Whatever they are, there are a lot of genuine Biblical beards out there in uniform. (But I’ve been out of the loop for a while. Maybe they’re just Duck Dynasty fans, or actual hillbillies.)

3)   There seems to be a lot more celebratory dancing, and the handshakes are way more elaborate than I remember. The general level of exaltation seems to have risen. It’s bordering on poor sportsmanship, or maybe it has stepped over that line already.

I would have watched the games, if I could have. But really, I don’t miss having to listen to Vin Scully, that dual master of the non-sequitur and false modesty. And there’s a chance that I might have passed on the opportunity anyway, because I totally hate the Astros. Are they still the Houston Astros? Or are they the Texas Astros now? Or maybe the "World Famous Astros?" I was surprised to discover that they are currently in the American League, that’s how far removed I am from the cultural reality of day-to-day America.

They came into the National League as an expansion team called the Houston Colt .45s, along with the New York Mets, and by having early mediocre seasons while the Mets were performing terribly they thought that they were thereby very hot stuff. They were downright obnoxious about being better than the Mets. Then after seven years in the bigs the Mets won the World Series. That kind of shut them up, I believe that they were already the Astros by then. I notice that they’ve had to wait until this year to win a World Series. Well don’t choke on the champagne, boys. I hope that you learned something about humility from that Mets episode.

It occurs to me that generosity of spirit is always a good thing, so I’ll just say that it was a good, hard fought series right up to the end. Congratulations, everybody! You looked good out there, weird-ass beards and all. Have a nice off-season, and we’ll see you in April.