God, If I May Have A Moment, Just Fucking Why?

Many times in the same week I find myself sorely tempted to place my left knee on the ground, cast my eyes upwards towards heaven, and raise my right hand to God, asking, pleading, “why!!!” You know, just wondering, “what the fuck is one man supposed to do in the face of this unrelenting hurricane of bullshit?”

I know, everyman has his own shit-storm to deal with, and some are much worse than others. Mine is certainly not one of the worst, but, having said that, please don’t think for a minute that my shit-storm is an easy burden to bear. 

Because, since the elapse of the approximately eighteen-month grace period when I was in diapers, it has never resembled “easy” in any way, shape or form.

The biggest cop-out in all of this self-examination rigmarole is for a man to say, “well, I have done my best.” Let’s face it, if your best was lousy enough to get you where you are today, kneeling here complaining to God, as if God gave a shit, well, then your best wasn’t quite enough, was it?

You cannot compare yourself to others, who were forgiven for worse.

You cannot ask for more, because there is no such service available.

You cannot question your antagonists, because they are not answerable to you.

You cannot petition God with prayer, because there is no such entity waiting by the phone.

You cannot trust your own analysis of events, because the odds are that you have misapprehended them.

The best course is to accept that you, yourself, are partly, if not mostly, responsible for the state of things, and just go forward in the dim, grey light of life on earth and do the best that you can. It’s a sad and terrible life, but it’s all that we’ve got, and it’s not without its attractions, if one is being honest. If you find someone whose life you can have a positive impact on, do that, definitely. If you can make someone happy, well in that case you may be able to make up for your past transgressions. Doing one’s best is never an excuse, it’s almost never enough, but it’s all that we can do, almost by definition. So go! And quit your complaining.

Disclaimer: I try never to drunk-post, but I’m making an exception here. Please try to read this with a forgiving nature.