Australia

People ask me: have you been to Australia?

In a way, I’m sure that it’s nice. Australians are not stupid, so there must be some decent food. The beaches look nice, although I am not a beach guy, no, no, no. (There are only three things that I don’t like about the beach: the sun; the sand; and the water. Give me a nice lake, anytime.)

It’s all so out-door-sey though, which I find anathema, and besides, it all looks so familiar to me. I lived in California for thirty years, and isn’t Australia just one, huge circular California, except full of foreigners? I’m pretty sure that staying indoors in Australia is almost the same as staying indoors in California.

So I’ll stay in Thailand, but I’m sure that Australia’s nice!