The Tip Of The Fed-Killing Iceberg

This story is out there, but it’s not easy to find. Out in the Heartland of America, the Faith-Based heart of Middle-America, the Values America, the devoutly Christian, non-Socialist America, killing “Fed’s” has become a status crime, a hate crime.

Did I say killing? More like brutal, intensely violent torturing and murdering. Stripped naked, bound and blinded with duct-tape, and hung from a tree. Compared to that, mere killing, like one or two caps in the back of the head, is filial devotion.

Isolated incident, you say? There’s usually no such thing. The Collyer brothers were an isolated incident, two crazy brothers collecting their stool in labeled boxes. This is no such thing. It’s happened before, recently, arising from the same insane reasoning, and it’s obvious that the whole giant iceberg is floating along there under the visible tip.

A hate crime, as in, it’s not personal, he was a Fed! From all indications, the victim was a nice guy, low key, not ambitious, not a big shot, a single dad raising a small son. The killers would probably have liked the guy, if only he hadn’t been a stinking Fed.

This crime is horrifying and dangerous, this was an incendiary act with huge implications for American politics and culture. Want proof? It’s being covered way on the down low, kid-gloves and all. It’s being treated as “The Mysterious Death Of Bill Sparkman,” like we don’t know yet what really happened. The first day it was literally: maybe he killed himself? Even now it’s, “State Trooper Don Trosper said it was clear this wasn't a natural death but said all other possibilities were being considered.
"This case has many facets," he said. "To investigate cases, you have to rule out different scenarios. We are not able to rule out many scenarios at this time, and that's what makes this a difficult case."
It’s a difficult case alright, but the difficulty is not in figuring out what happened. No, some brave patriots, low-functioning I’ll bet, drunk probably, got their hands on a Fed and struck a tremendous blow for freedom! Passions inflamed, the odds are, by someone outside their own moronic heads.

It’s not over. As my beloved cousin H. told me when he was teaching me to parallel park a car: “what man has done, man can do.” This has been made into a war by some people, and it’s just getting hot.