Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Ejaculation

Catholic ejaculations are little prayers that you can say real fast and repeat a thousand times per hour. When I was a boy they all had indulgences listed next to them in the prayer book, like, "Jesus, have mercy on my soul. (10 days)" That meant just saying it once would get you released from Purgatory ten days early, in time for Sunday dinner in Heaven. Reading this poem should get your Purgatory time cut by a few months. No extra charge.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph-
Have mercy on us.

Joseph, whose faith was the greatest.
Quiet, he kept his own counsel,
doing meaningful work, productive,
accepting his fate with neither complaint nor self aggrandizement.

Jesus,
Odds are, much more faith of others in him
than faith of his in anything at all,
talking down to fools like us, not down to us like we were fools,
the rest of us.
Thank you Jesus: have mercy on us.

Mary,
Everflowing font of mercy,
Mother of god, have mercy,
Have mercy on us sinners,
intercede on our behalf, we misguided.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph-
Have mercy on our souls.

Jesus-
Son of god and son of woman,
Suckled of tits and of the Holy Ghost.
Faith, it’s just a mystery, surrender.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
Have mercy on us.

The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost:
May the Holy Ghost have mercy on us,
have mercy on our souls,
I must check my Catechism, does one pray to the Holy Ghost?

Mary, mother of god, in heaven now, body and soul,
Jesus, whose love saved us,
Father, who so loved the world,
Holy Ghost, a mystery,
for some christians, not all.

Mary, mother of god,
Joseph, “busy hands the devil’s mousetrap,” his legacy,
hero of the working man,
Saint,
not father of,
rather, dad of god, Jesus.

Jesus have mercy on my soul,
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
watch over me,
protect me from harm,
save my soul,
my immortal soul.

Jesus, more than man, but man,
Jesus, lots of good ideas, I’ll give you that,
Son of god, have mercy on us,
Lamb of god, blood of the lamb,
Mary, most pure,
Although . . . but faith bears skepticism poorly.

Joseph,
Most sympathetic figure in this play,
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
Have mercy on us sinners,
Have mercy on our souls.


February 18, 2008

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pops, I just googled "spineasytime@blogspot" and it came right up with the "Ejaculation" blurb under it. Great. I love it. I also love the piano in "White Lightning" by Lou Reed?

Son.

arcdude said...

I just told my colleagues at work how the nuns in catechism used to tell us to say these little prayers any time an impure thought popped up into our little brains. When I mentioned that these little prayers were referred to as ejaculations, no one believed me!!

Anonymous said...

I was just telling my colleagues at work how the nuns used to tell us to say a little prayer any time we had impure thoughts pop into our little brains. When I mentioned that these little prayers were called ejaculations, no one believed me.