There is a remote chance that I will return this year for a visit to the country of my birth. That would be America, specifically California. Six years have passed since my last visit, and it appears to me that the situation on the ground has changed dramatically. The changes have not run in favor of an easy and comfortable trip.
The new COVID variant,
Omicron, is statistically significant and obviously dangerous. Every day,
people are contracting the disease. People are being admitted into the
hospital. Most impressively, people are dying. In spite of that obvious threat
level, I don’t see a lot of masking going on. Instead, I hear a lot of yelling
about not wanting to wear masks, and freedom, and you can’t tell me what to do,
and take off that mask you fucking commie. Has any work been done about the
possibility that COVID has a potential psychological impact? Subtle, perhaps,
but acting to make sufferers irritable and unreasonable?
If, indeed, I do travel to
the indispensable country this year, I will be masking. Probably double
masking. I have seen examples of masked people being accosted in retail
establishments or travel situations for having the freedom-hating temerity to
wear a mask. As though, perhaps, the only possible explanation could be that
the masked individual was a libtard, or under the spell of ex-President Obama
and his puppet, Joe Biden. I have formulated a strategy to use if I am faced
with this behavior in a convenience store or something.
My play will be to feign
weakness, cough into the mask, and say in an unsteady tone, “I’m sorry. I was
in Africa for six months (cough) and my doctor thinks that I was exposed to
Ebola. He says I must wear (long, wet, wheezing cough) this mask to protect
(cough) other people.” (Reaches out to lean on something, holding chest and
coughing.) “Oh, shit! I forgot my rubber gloves!”
It was a lot of fun to run
this strategy past a couple of friends of mine, but I know that in reality it
would only make someone want to shoot me. A lot of the unreasonable Americans
are now strapped.