Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Alley Oop vs. Bo Diddley

Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight’s entertainment is a no-holds-barred fight to the finish between Mr. Alley Oop, who is new to these parts, and everybody’s friend, the man himself, Mr. Bo Diddley!

(Huge cheers from the large crowd.)

We asked Alley Oop where he was from, but all he said was, “the jungle.” I asked him what part of the jungle, you know, what do they call it, place got to have a name. Dude just gave me a look and said, “okay, I’m from the jungle, up by the river.” I didn’t ask him no more, because I was a little afraid to rile him up.

Alley Oop is over in the blue corner, wearing what looks like a wildcat’s hide, and I’m pretty sure he tore it off of that cat himself.

(Laughter and many cheers.)

You ought to see the club we took off him before the show. We let him walk around carrying that thing the cops will raid this place for sure. We’ll show it to you later if there’s anything left of the building when these boys get done.

And in the red corner! The home-town-boy! The natural-born man! Wearing overalls and brogan shoes! Bo Diddley!

(Huge cheers.)

Bo Diddley tells everybody that he’s from Chicago, but I know his people! He’s from South America!

(Grumbling from the crowd. “He don’t look like no South American to me!”)

But he is! He’s from south Arkansas!

(Cheers and laughter.)

And then the bell rang, and I woke up.

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