Friday, May 20, 2016

Our Different Worlds

Everyone’s world is different from everyone else’s. We all see the world differently; we experience it differently. As a result, all judgments are subjective, and personal.

No two people outside of ourselves see us quite the same way, and none of the outsiders see us the way that we see ourselves. This can lead to social and psychological tensions.

In my world, in my own view, I am a reasonable man; responsible, if not overly so; neither particularly lazy nor energetic; not, perhaps, the sharpest tool in the shed, but more useful than many in intellectual matters; more friendly and considerate than most; and deserving of a place at the table of men. In your world, I would probably rate less.

Recently I was again reminded of what some other people think of me. It was not pleasant. My wife and I divorced about a year ago, and it has led to a shit-storm of obloquy being directed at me.

I’d like it to stop, but it’s got a lot of wind in its sails. I don’t try to fight it, because it’s not a war, after all. I love the woman, she’s great. I deeply appreciate all of the things that she has done for me over the decades. We got divorced, which is certainly not unusual these days, even among people our age. Why must it be an opportunity to place blame?

Somewhere it says, “judge not, lest ye be judged,” or words to that effect. It’s a good sentiment, and one need not be religious to catch the rhythm of it.

So I say to my detractors, please lay off. Recall that no one knows what goes on in a marriage but the two spouses. I’m not some social science experiment that must be commented on. We all make our own way in the world, and I do the best that I can. Isn’t that all that any of us can do?

Now forgive me if I go back to my real life and try to be happy. Living well would be the best revenge, now wouldn’t it? 

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