December 3, 2015 . . . I was greeted this morning by an amazing bit of so-called news. When CNN came into focus my first exclamation was, “fourteen! And seventeen injured!” An amazing tale, for true, but these days it’s all too commonplace. Hardly a “wait . . . what?” moment. Proceeding with my morning ablutions, nutrition, and news gathering, I quickly came across these three genuine “what the fuck?” news articles.
1. Senator Jim Inhofe (Republican, Oklahoma) is the chairman of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. He said, out loud, on the floor of the Senate, that he believes that if there is such a thing as “climate change,” God is causing it. He speculated that maybe God was engineering climate change to bring about the end of the world. He’s a United States Senator.
2. Britton Clayton Taylor is a “Christian writer.” He’s thirty-three years old. He was reportedly arrested in Alabama after robbing a movie theatre. He used a pistol in the robbery (maybe a fake pistol, doesn’t matter for charging purposes), and he was wearing one of those lifelike latex masks. He got the contents of the safe and put the money in a backpack. Not a great job, though, he was tackled and restrained by the manager while returning to his car, a Porsche 911, in which the police found a wig and other disguise materials. Reportedly he told police, by way of what? explanation? exculpation? that he robbed the place to advance his rise in the ranks of a group of Freemasons.
3. Alex Jones has a popular right wing radio show called “Info Wars.” He was in the news today because Donald Chump appeared on the show to explain his plan for making America great again. By way of introduction, the article described some of Mr. Jones’ beliefs. I watched a live clip from his show in which he explained that New World Order “elites” take DMT to communicate with “little gray men” from another dimension. So, this conspiracy is not only trans-generational, not only international, not even only interplanetary, but actually interdimensional. These little gray men want the New World Order to build the Hadron Collider so that black holes can be created, through which the little gray men can come to earth so that they can kill us all.
And that’s all on one day, people. Something has gone seriously wrong with the world. The news in general is seriously threatening, but the real WTF moments are coming faster and faster.