Sunday, February 22, 2015

Rudy Giuliani, Prosecutor, Patriot, And Pain In The Ass

How about that Rudy Guliani?  Rudy says that President Obama doesn't love America like "we" do, that the President wasn't raised to value America like "we" were.  Mingia, what a scifoze.  

Why would an unattractive, semi-retired, no longer relevant man of a certain age make such vicious, personal, and unfounded remarks about the leader of the Free World?  Why indeed.  Luckily, we have comedy writers to help us to understand:

(Beginning of the funny part.)

Borowitz Report
February 20, 2015 From the New Yorker Magazine

Forgotten Man Seeks Attention
By Andy Borowitz

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—A largely forgotten man sought attention on Wednesday night before returning to obscurity on Thursday, according to reports.

The man, whom many Americans had difficulty placing, was making a desperate bid to remind people of his existence, experts believe.

His efforts were somewhat successful, as his widely reported outburst caused people across the country to rack their brains to try to remember who he was.

After briefly attempting to recall where they had seen the man before, many people gave up and moved on with their days, but for others, the desperate man’s remarks left a bitter aftertaste.

“There is no excuse for making comments like those, no matter who you are,” Tracy Klugian, forty-seven, of Springfield, Missouri, said. “Who is he again?”

Still others showed concern for the man, and expressed hope that, instead of future bids for attention, he would find fulfillment in crafting or some other harmless hobby.

(End of the funny part.)

So now comes the sad part, where we wait to see what Rudy will decide to try next to force himself into the public consciousness.  Maybe he should run for president!  How great would that be!  Maybe him and ISIS could fight an apocalyptic battle or something.  Rudy is much funnier than ISIS, and he's at least as funny as Mike Huckabee.  


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