Wednesday, May 15, 2013

When Observing A Married Couple

Not that I am a relationship expert, or any kind of a font of wisdom or anything, but I’ll tell you one true thing about married couples:  no one outside of the couple has any clue at all what is really happening between them.

Did I say, “married couple”?  Let’s say “bonded couple,” because legal status is not controlling here.

How often have you considered a couple and wondered:

“What does he (she) see in her (him)?”

“Why does she (he) put up with that?”

“Why would he (she) do such a thing?”

The answers to these questions are impossible for us to divine, we live with a total lack of information about those two people.   This is true even for best friends, close siblings, therapists and counselors, it is true for anyone who is not one of these two people who make up the couple.

Things frequently happen within a couple, things that we may find disagreeable.  We may wonder, “why is this happening?”  Never imagine for a moment, however, that you can answer the question.  However much you may think that you know, however many facts seem to be at your disposal, the level of your understanding is insufficient. 

So when you are tempted to judge, to assign blame, or fault, and you will be, please resist the temptation.  “Judge not, lest yea be judged.”  It would be much better to remain neutral and sympathetic to both parties.  Remaining impartial, cheerful and helpful will reap for you the rewards of goodness.  

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