Monday, January 12, 2009

If I Were Bernie Madoff's Judge

Sure, Bernie Madoff has a right to bail, like anybody else, subject to the same considerations. But if I’m the judge, it all goes a little differently:

1. Is he a flight risk? As far as I’m concerned, anyone with untold millions of dollars stashed in places that no one has any idea about is a flight risk. No bail based on this one.

2. Connections to the community? Bernie’s connection to the community is the connection of a vampire to the neck of the victim. No bail.

3. Harm to the community? Great emotional harm to the people who lost millions and now have to watch him come and go freely from his penthouse, the one that they paid for. Great harm in encouraging other crooks by showing them how they’ll be treated with kid gloves after they get caught, if they even get caught. No bail.

But money talks, and bullshit walks. As usual.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bernie Madoff will get what's coming to him sooner or later.

Anonymous said...

MINCHIA! It's only money . . . what's your problem? I'm sure the man had a good reason for doing what he did! BTW: When are you social progressive types going to stop beating up on successful businessmen? I heard that Mr. Madoff even handed out Christmas bonuses in spite of his financial troubles! It's great men, like Bernie Madoff, that keep the American economy humming along . . . DO DA! DO DA! BET MY MONEY ON A BOBCAT TAIL! DO DA! DO DA! HA HA! HA HA!

And one more thing y'all: Don't forget to vote Republican in 2012.

CALVIN

fred c said...

Thank you, Calvin, but we now understand quite well how the "social regressive" agenda affects the general prosperity, and something like seventy percent of us don't like it.

But take heart: I'd give your comment a sixty-five, because it had a decent beat, and I could dance to it.

Anonymous said...

People been sellin magic pills and potions since the beginning of time... guys like Madoff might indeed be the next coming of great illusionists and escape artists of the past. Like Jesus!

fred c said...

I have never understood the attraction to illusionists and/or escape artists. I dislike it when something that I believe upon some consideration to be impossible seems to happen. I certainly don't find it entertaining, as in wow! look at that! I find it more like disturbing.

Same with prestidigitation of any kind, even card tricks. They don't call them tricks for nothing. I don't find being tricked entertaining.

If Bernie Madoff tricked me ... well, that's a stretch right there. I don't gamble, and I have neither the talent nor the inclination to maximize anything. My idea of an "investment" is a paid-for deed with my name on it. That's dangerous enough in the twenty-first century, administered as it is by ruthless pirates of both financial and political stripe.

Anonymous said...

People love to be fooled...just look at Cripps, er I mean Calvin, duped for over 25 years by the Repubs! And he he still doesn't get how the mind tricks were done to him! There will always be rubes like him for the Tricksters to sell bridges to.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tiger: If you can dance the stripes of that 65 stuff then you can dance to anything! Who says you're a white bread and a yo snow?

And one more thing: Good riddance El Presidente Jorge Bush! I was going to put that very statement up on my roof in the form of Christmas lights but I gave the idea second thought because I didn't want to offend any of those SPECOP boys that frequently fly over my rooftop.

CALVIN

Anonymous said...

YES! Finally someone, out there, get's it! Jesus and Bernie . . . both in the same breath! Jesus and Bernie! Jesus and Bernie! Jesus Bernie! Jesus Bernie!

Lolita H.

fred c said...

How long do you think it will be before Bush gets caught in some kind of financial scheme? Before he gets back into the business of tricking people into investing in something? Neil Bush never stopped, he's been at it since Silverado. It's the Bush family way. They play the Saudis like harps, and they have the tens of millions to show for it.

Anonymous said...

Calling someone a rube is pretty strong talk coming from a punk and an ignorant peasant like you. Are you stalking me motherfucker? If you are, don't waste your time . . . you know where I am and I know where you are. I'd like nothing better than to meet you on a bridge some night and then _______ . . . fill in the blank, minchia.

SINCERELY,

RORY CALVIN CRIPPS

nanute said...

Calvin:
Need some help? Minchia!
Nanute

Rory Cripps said...

NANUTE: Thank You! I, typically, need all the help that I can get! But in the case of the ignorant/low-class peasant, that called me a rube, I need self-satisfaction (I think that you know what I mean). I really do hate the motherfucker's guts. Not only is he a pest, but there is something inhuman about him . . . perhaps it has something to do with his "roots" (perhaps too much Vodka in the blood-stream). Indeed I liken him to a cock-roach. In other words, he needs to be shown no mercy, stepped on, and crushed. I feel sorry for his family . . . but then again, maybe their genes are just as fucked-up and Vodka-filled as his are. I'm an extremely tolerant person and I believe in "live and let live" and I've done my best, throughout my life, to abide by "The Golden Rule". But unfortunately, and every so often, there comes a time when the "tolerant" are faced with the "intolerant". Consequently, the question arises: what is to be done about the incorrigible intolerants? Are all good men and women to sit idly by, in the name of tolerance, and allow the "intolerants" to spew out hate and big filthy lies? I don't think that the mother-fucker, that called me a rube, has ever been honest and forthright with anyone(including himself) throughout his entire barren, miserable, and friendless existence. Mr. intolerant needs to go BYE BYE!

Sincerely,

RORY CALVIN CRIPPS